Saturday, August 29, 2015

B.B.M.F.F. - Belated BadMofo Friday - Neil Young! :)

This post I would like to highlight a personal hero of mine - Neil Young! <3 

I've been listening to this dude since the womb (literally) and got to see him perform for the first time recently in Essex for the launch of his Monsanto Years tour.  It was a life changing experience that still brings tears to my eyes when I recall it, but I'll be writing more in detail about that concert later, along with Mr. Young's current fight to aid Vermont as it undergoes a major lawsuit from the shady, scary powerful big corporate alliance known as the "Grocery Manufacturer's Association" - Mansanto and Starbucks being the primary companies within this group currently under his attack. 

First, I want to focus on Neil Young as a person - what makes him tick; who/what made him the powerful, loving soul that he his today; how his creative process works. Right before going to see him play up by Lake Champlain, I heard an enlightening interview he did with Howard Stern at the end of 2014. I learned a lot about Neil that I never knew before.

And now I love him as not just a musician, but a human being and role model too.
He is, indeed, and Bad Mofo!

random pic from the internet - Neil Young - Chronic Badass and all around Bad Mofo

They talked everything - from Mr. Young's survival of and recovery from childhood onset polio; the trauma of his father abusing his mother and then abandoning the family around the time Neil was 12; flunking out of high school; his influences and struggles as a budding artist; various bands he has played in, and musicians he's rolled with; what it was like to live with Rick James, be recorded by Smokey Robinson, and hang out with Charlie Manson; his personal values and philosophy and how those tie into his work, a description of his creative process that I think any creative type would find beneficial, even a fun little tip on how to manage paranoia induced by cannabis/altered states! One that this 17 year long consciousness explorer had never heard before. ("Chew on a few black peppercorns."

I was very inspired by Neil Young's insatiably positive attitude and perceptions about life, the world around him, and his role in it. He is prolific as an artist, and incredibly passionate about the causes he cares about - causes which resonate greatly with me and I think many young people today. The man has seen, overcome, and continues to manage a lot of shit (one of his children has Cerebral Palsy), and has somehow come out of it without harboring any bitterness or resentment. He has a huge "heart of gold" and I feel like he is a great role model for anyone, especially those who may be going through a hard time or facing some sort of challenge (where's my Spoonies at? Much love to ya'all!).

Here is a link to that interview (just audio). Below are my fave quotes.
Hope you find Neil Young's story and philosophy to be as inspiring as I have!

Should you want to learn more about him, Neil has co-written several books, the latest of which came out around the time of this interview, called "Special Deluxe" - a book about his love of cars, and pursuit of alternative energy sources for them (he's a gearhead too! I just love this man!).





"I'm working for the Music, that's my job in my head. I've always felt that was something that was given to me, and I have to give back to It."

"Everybody's family has something in it...These things happen to everybody...Not that particular thing [physical abuse] happens to everybody, thank God, cuz that's not what should happen, and the less of that we have the better off everything is, but, still, things happen, and everybody has the things they remember in their childhood that they wish they hadn't seen...something, there's something not perfect about everyone's childhood, you know."

"Music turned me into myself. I just love being able to disappear into the music."

"[Creativity/Art] It's an accident, it's a gift, and I never question it. I always, whatever I'm doing, if I have an idea I'll stop what I'm doing and do that...The idea is, Do It. You never know when, if you don't do it when it comes, it's a Gift. If somebody gives you a gift, do you throw it down and keep on going? No, you stop and check it out, and you say “Thank You”, or whatever, and treat it nicely. You don't want to scare it away or treat it with disrespect. It's like an animal, it's like a beast or something. You have to be nice...That's why I like to record things right away. So that I get it, before I start thinking. I don't wanna think, I just wanna do it...And then when I start to roll, the first time it comes out it's the right one." (Not sure if this resonates with other artists, but this is exactly how my creative process flows, was very cool to hear - at least for my poetry. Journalism and other forms of writing usually require extensive editing, they don't just "come out" like that.)

"You don't want to judge it [your art], Howard. It's a Gift. You just do it, and later let other people judge It. There's plenty of people to do that, you don't have to go very far and you can find them."

"When you play music you have to come from a certain place when you're doing it, and everything has to be clear, you know. You don't want to disturb that. I mean, I don't. I like to keep the love there. And if the love isn't there, you don't wanna do it."  

“Be great or be gone.”

"It's about the weather, Howard. Some days you got it, some days you don't...it's the Cosmic Weather, you can't always have it, which makes you appreciate it so much when you get it. And that's what life is all about, it's so beautiful the way it keeps changing."

“Find a way to make a living that makes you feel good.”

“Focus on the good things.”

“I'm not a hater. I want to be a lover, I want to love, I want to see what's good.”

“I'm going to do what I can do with the rest of my life...to fight to make the change I wish to see, to turn the Earth around.”

After discussing Neil's interest in Charlie Manson as a musician:
Howard: If you had to spend a day recording with either Charlie Manson or David Crosby, who would you pick?
Neil: That's a great question. I don't know, I'll have to think about that one. (Laughs)

On addiction and drugs: 
"It's a matter of wanting to [quit]. If you try to stop something that you want to do, that's an internal struggle that you really never will win. But if you don't wanna do it because you decide you don't want to do it, then it gets easy...I didn't want to stop because of all the death...I got really tired of waking up that way and not thinking and just hurting myself over and over and I was getting older. It was just a thought process just led me to the conclusion that it was probably not a good idea anymore."



On his book, “Special Deluxe”, Neil's love of cars and the enviornment, and advocacy for alternative energy sources like solar and cellulosic biofuel:
H: This is a book of cars, right? You love cars?
N: Yeah!
H: And yet, you're an environmentalist, and cars pollute the environment, so you're torn, right?
N: Well, that's kinda what the book is about.
H: What are we gonna do about this?
N: We're gonna change it...It's so sad, what's going on. Since 1950, we've lost 90% of the fish in the ocean, and doubled our own population. Since 1970, we've lost half of the wildlife on the planet. So, if you take those same numbers and put them into the future and realize we're actually doing more damage now, and look at our leaders [decisions]...Obama just opened up the Gulf of Mexico to fracking and just gave all the rights away, I don't get the sentience in that...
H: Who's going to change this?
N: It's gonna be people like you and me, Howard...We have to be aware of what's going on, and talk about it, and know that there is a lot that can be done...You don't focus on the negative, you focus on the positive and how much love you still have for this planet and that you can enjoy things and don't get angry about it, but realize that if the USA is the leader of the free world, why is it we're saying we can have maybe 2% solar energy by 2020 and Germany has 50% renewable energy right now, with the same sun and the same crops?
H: Why is that?
N: It's because of the leadership in this country, more than that, it's because of Corporate Control of Democracy, thru things like the Citizens United Act, which we just voted down yet it's still there because the majority wasn't big enough. So in America it's hard to make a change against the corporate powers that are in control of us. They control all of us, everybody that we elect, they're all tainted. Why do we have Hilary Clinton, when she was Secretary of State, going around to Europe to convince the little European countries, “Oh, don't get your oil from Russia. We give you this fracking technology and it's really great and you can frack and get your oil and energy right out of the land.” The thing is, that, this is what's going on – these are our Democrats, okay, these are the people that are supposed to be 'the savior'...and the Democrats are the ones who just opened up the Gulf of Mexico to fracking like the gulf doesn't need a break.
H: Are there a politician or group of politicians that you actually like?
N: None of them are empowered by the system that is here now to do anything other than take money from corporations and be controlled. I don't know of one politician that isn't controlled to some degree by the amount of donations from corporations. That's who paid for the campaigns. All these laws are wrong. They made it legal for corporations to be people. Corporations are not people!...The things that we don't know, I mean we talk about climate change, and we're doing more damage to the earth with all our wars...but if you want to find out, hey, “Freedom”, you can't find out what the carbon footprint is of the military...I don't like war, I think it's all about energy and I think it's gonna end up being about water, because we're using it all up...We outta just start getting smart and use what we have. Renewable energy. There's energy from the sun! Hello! It's right there! If you don't put a hat on it can burn a hole in your head. It's something there, let's use it...And start using our plants, not to take away our food, but cellulosic ethanol and cellulosic biofuels that are actually from the waste of making food, that can be fuel, all this stuff can charge electricity, that can do all kinds of things it can charge batteries, whatever without fossil fuel. I drove my car all the way across from San Francisco to Ft. McMurrey, Alberta, to NYC, without using any gasoline.
Robin: So you had it converted?
N: I rebuilt it, yeah, and I screwed it up and burned it down to the ground, and built it again.
H: So it can be done?
N: It can be done, absolutely. A 6300 pound car, a Lincoln Continental '59, the heaviest damn longest craziest car you ever saw – I drove across the whole country without any gasoline. Remember America, places like Germany are 50% renewable today. It can be done, with leadership. We don't have the leadership we need and it's very disappointing that they're all working for corporations.

“We don't have a choice...as consumers when it comes to fuel...if we had the choice, we could make things happen."

H: How do you know so much about all this?
N: I am studying this because it is really is a matter of life and death for millions and millions of people.
H: You care.
N: (Voice cracks) You're damn right I care. That's all I do. That's all I can do. I'm a famous person, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna relegate myself to People Magazine and some tabloids? That's not me. I wanna do something good and if I can't do something good I'll probably die trying to do something good. I've got nothing else to do. What else could be more rewarding? Nothing.

cover from his self titled studio album released in '68

Thank you so much for reading!

Who are some of your fave Bad Mofo's, and why?
 
*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

A few nature pics, notes about some things to come here on the blog, plus, "Flutterby" - A New Poem

Hello there!
It's been longer than I prefer since I've last posted on here :/

Between the Neil Young concert my man and I were lucky enough to attend a few weeks ago upstate, being a heat sensitive person in the peak of New England summer (woah, humidity!), and the sudden drop in temps we've had over the last week (WTF, signs of Fall already? Winter is coming! Ah, Rural Vermont Life), along with a few other health issues I won't get into, I have been pretty laid low.
"Low on spoons" as they say ;)

But, I'm back on my feet, caught up on a major freelance project I've been trying to hammer out for some time (Shameless self-plug: Go get a subscription to Auto Restorer magazine!), and am very excited about everything that is happening right now, including posts for this blog that I've been wanting to get out for some time.

Driving Upstate Vermont in Late Summer is a glorious experience! :)

A preview of what's to come:
- A write-up about the Neil Young concert, and the Monsanto/Starbucks/Grocery Manufacturer's Alliance lawsuit against the state of Vermont
- New Product reviews! - UV Clothing, UV Parasols, Collapsible Canes, and other "Spoonie" friendly wear/aids
- The last part of my series about my mental approaches to managing life with chronic illness
- New B.M.F.F.'s - "BadMofo Fridays" - Where each week I'll be highlighting various people who inspire me  
- A new series about who I am, and how I manage my Fibromyalgia thru Diet and Lifestyle
- Completing a series I started a long time ago about how I manage seasonal allergies, colds, and flus using natural remedies that actually work (something that has plagued me since I was born, and have a ton of anecdotal and scientific evidence for)

It's moving more slowly than I'd prefer, but I'm learning how to work with the Fibro and become a better integrated artist, entrepreneur, and person every day.

And that is all that matters.

Fall colors are already starting to show in the mountains up here in New England

And now, a new piece of poetry I wrote over the last few weeks.
I was in a bit of a haze when it came out, and looking at it now, I am still not completely sure who or what this is about. It could be one of a few matters I've been trying to work thru, or a combo of them.

Either way, it's pretty, if I don't say so myself :)
Enjoy, and thank you so much for reading!!! 

"FLUTTERBY" 
When you pout
with your cherry stained mouth
Do you ever doubt yourself too?
If it came out that I wasn't strong
could I accept this from you?
You, who can do no wrong
you, who always belong
Like Living Summer
she flutters along
And I wither in her path
Like Living Summer
she flutters along
I'm not bitter or anything
but, sometimes, The Wrath is still strong
Fresh as a stove-top burn
You've scorched me so many times
the scar tissue almost covers the fine lines
and wrinkles
Impressions of Time
upon the skin
Your facade is paper thin
but this is a battle I cannot win
No matter how much I rage and foam
Like Living Summer she flutters and roams
as I look on from this gilded cage
Alone



*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

"Canyon Fiend" - A Love Poem

A fun one I started a while back and finally finished today.
I guess you could say I'm in the mood because I'm well enough to go downstairs tomorrow and start restoring the Celica Supra again ;) Yay!
Enjoy the Gearhead Poetry!

Oh, you rev my engine
wear out my starter
when I can't take any more
you drive me harder
thru terrains I never knew
you got my alignment all askew
runnin' till we see red and blue lights
only you know how to move me just right
baby

let's hit the canyons tonight

Thanks for reading!

*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen

"Kaizen" aka "Kiki", our gorgeous 1982 Toyota Celica Supra P-Type 5 Speed <3

Friday, July 10, 2015

BMFF - Bad Mofo Friday - Louise "Landspeed" Noeth

Starting something new on the blog! :)

Every Friday, I am going to talk about "Bad Mofo's" - people who I find really inspiring. 

Today, I would like to draw attention to an amazing woman I can't believe I've never heard of before. I learned about Louise "Landspeed" Noeth recently while catching up on the Cars Yeah Podcast, where she is described as "a storyteller known for taking complicated subjects and making them entertaining and educational. She founded LandSpeed Productions in 1984 where she provides film and TV consulting, photography, writing, graphic design, and more. Her award-winning works have been published around the world. Dubbed 'LandSpeed Louise', she concentrates on land speed racing and people who do extraordinary feats by designing, building, and driving fast cars, trucks, and motorcycles. She’s one of the few women journalists in the automotive field who’s also comfortable and competent behind the wheel."




A few other traits/accomplishments that make Louise noteworthy:
- She is over 50% deaf, and it was loud exhaust notes that first drew her to cars because of the resonance (I have a soft spot for people with illness or disability, "Chronic Badasses", in case you didn't notice)
- She was first published in Automotive Journalism back in 1980. I started my automotive career in the mid-2000's, and the industry still was/is permeated by the MadMen, "No tits in the pits", bigotry mentality. I can only imagine what the fuck she's overcome during her career!
- She started her photojournalism career as an artist painting pinstripes on cars, then learned to drive, then to wrench, and started writing/taking photos along the way. She is one of the few other female gearheads I've found who not only can fix anything on a car and drive it, but can write and create visual art as well. I have found a female role model doing almost exactly what I want to do! How awesome! Most of my role models are male.
- Louise worked with the Federal Government to help phase out the use of Leaded Gasoline, and implement updated safety regulations for suspension. She also helped the automotive performance and  journalism industries integrate changes created by Federal Emissions Control Implementations in the late 60's/early 70's.
- She helped Team Vesco set the International World Record for the Fastest Wheel Driven Automobile (Over 458 mph! This record still stands, btw. Whose up for the challenge?)
- She has numerous productions and publications under her belt, is working on her second book, has had a monthly column in Goodguys Gazette for over 12 years, and recently became a Chief Judge for the International Automotive Media Competition - an organization striving to set a higher standard in automotive related journalism/media.
- On top of all these amazing contributions, Louise Noeth is a pilot, too!



A quote from her website that really resonates with me and gets me fired up for my own work: 
Unlike most journalists, writers, photographers, artists, and publicists who focus on only one, or perhaps two disciplines, LSL noticed that she could get editors to give her more assignments if she could provide words and pictures — photographed or drawn.

“The hard part was convincing them that I could deliver quality in both areas, because my skills came from ‘on-the-job training’,” she adds, “I’ve never had any formal, academic training, just an overwhelming abundance of enthusiastic curiosity and I’ve discovered that, occasionally, I can whup a hot shot PhD in this news game. I create solutions.”

I love this woman, and am so inspired by her! 


Just some major journalism awards. No big deal ;)

Here is a link to the episode of Cars Yeah I learned about "Landspeed Louise" through, with a few quotes below that stood out to me from the interview. The podcast is only about 30 minutes, perfect for listening to while taking a lunch break, commuting, doing a tune-up, getting your hair did...you get the picture :) Enjoy! 

"I was born that way, with Nomex in my diapers."

"I don't have any training...I essentially took my artistic skills...and used them as a springboard..."

"Don't judge my abilities by your limitations."

"Always look for a place to put that plane down if the engine quits...Don't put your complete trust into someone, because they might let you down, and you may not see something...I became more circumspect. Not that I didn't give 100% when necessary, but I always had a way out."

When speaking of her involvement with Federal Legislation phasing out leaded gas, and suspension safety and emission controls -
"That was big because that effected 100's of thousands of people that I will never meet in a positive way."

"If you wanna play, you gotta pay."

"When you get a test car, wash it yourself...because you'll learn more about the car by washing it, then you will driving it." 

When asked about a personal habit that contributes to her success - 
"It has to be voracity, and details. To never short-shift the reader and the viewer...I can piss off an editor with no problem, but I never want to do that to my readers and my viewers."

"What you do for others, lasts longer, stays stronger, than anything you'll ever do for yourself."




I hope you enjoyed learning about "Landspeed" Louise Noeth! 

What Bad Mofo's get you really inspired? 

*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen







Saturday, June 27, 2015

June 26th, 2015 – A Historical Day to Close Out an Epic Week - Presidents, Podcasts, Progress

(Started writing this on Friday, had to take lots of breaks to finish it to my standards and add hyperlinks/pics, so it's going up on Saturday afternoon, 7-27)

The Supreme Court just ruled in favor of same sex marriage!!!!

What a way to close out an epic week for progress! I learned rather belatedly that the feds cut off funding to the DEA for medical cannabis raids late last year, due to recent back lash from the Justice Department. Come on guys, just let it go already! Stop fucking with sick people and our right to choose our symptom management! You'll come around eventually. 

It was a close decision, 5-4, but history has been made on this day here in this country. My mind is totally blown. I had no idea this was going on, as I don't watch the news, and avoid it online (not on Facebook, my homepage is Google). Especially when the Fibromyalgia is kicking my ass like it has been for the last few weeks (boo).

The decision was based upon the 14th Amendment, and from what I've read it sets a potential precedent for federal legalization of medical cannabis. Crazy exciting shit. Talk about a badly needed open door that we can now utilize for even further progress! Can't believe I'm seeing all this in my lifetime! If you had told me ten years ago that today we would be questioning the validity of the Drug War, ending cannabis prohibition at the state and federal level, opening up channels for medical applications of MDMA and Psilocybin, and recognize the legal right to same sex marriage at the federal level, I would have asked you what you were on so I could have a hit.

Someone please pinch me, I must be dreaming!

'Merica, fuck yeah!!!

Something else revolutionary that happened this week and has me very excited – President Obama was on Marc Maron's WTF Podcast!!! A president, on a podcast! And not just any podcast, a comedian's podcast. And not a clean comedian, either! Not that there's anything wrong with clean comedy. It just would have been more socially sanctioned for the President to choose to sit down with Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, or Ellen Degeneres.

To say this was a ground breaking decision would be an understatement.


President Barack Obama posing with Marc Maron in his garage:)
For more pics, check out http://marcmeetsobama.com/.

It was a very interesting listen. I wound up connecting with Mr. and Mrs. Obama in ways I hadn't foreseen. Michelle's Dad has MS, and this was back before the ADA act. Mr. Obama told a story or two about her father's struggles with his illness, and the public's perception of disability, which really touched me. I wonder if he uses cannabis for his MS symptoms. I sure hope so. Montel Williams says it's the only thing that really helps him with his. After being prodded (boldly, IMHO) by Marc to describe his eccentricities (“So, how are you crazy? When Michelle says 'Stop doing that!', what is she referring to?”), Mr. Obama talked about his history and childhood. How he moved around a lot, how that makes him kinda loose and restless. How Michelle grew up in a small town with a “Cleaver” kind of family, living in the same house her whole life, and being very grounded. Mr. Obama described how they in turn balance out each other's “crazy” - she helps to ground him out, and he in turns helps to bring her out of her shell. This made me think of my man and I, but reversed roles. I moved more times than I could count growing up, my man grew up in the house we're staying in now. This bedroom used to have pink carpet because it was his sister's when they were growing up. When I first met his family I totally thought of them as “Cleaver-like” compared to my fubared family (love mi familia, but we are all are fucked up, just tellin' it like it is). He totally grounds my crazy wanderlust, and I help him overcome his tendency towards being an extreme introvert.

I came away from the hour or so conversation very pleased. I was a tad disappointed with how one dimensional some of Mr. Obama's answers were - “Gun control must be solved by taking away guns. Other countries don't have shootings like we do, if they don't allow their citizens to have guns.” I'll save my personal thoughts on such a complex situation for another post. But I think he dropped enough hints so that anyone could read between the lines and really hear what he said in that conversation. He acknowledged the limitations he has as President. Marc did great by comparing it to a “middle management” position. And I think that is an excellent metaphor, one I had never thought of before. The President in this country is the ultimate “Mr. Manager”.

In case you haven't noticed, I make old school AD references whenever possible ;)
Think of all the bureaucracies, organizations, special interests, and branches of government that exist, that work together like some insane fucked up machine, and interfacing with all of that madness. No way you can please all those people, no matter what you do. Then you have millions of citizens with all their desires and wants and needs. Fuck, that sounds like too much for one person. I definitely gained more respect for the man. Not that I didn't respect him before. I may not have voted for Barack Obama, and may not agree with everything that has happened under his organization, but I knew before hearing the podcast it was a tough gig. I just never saw it with such clarity before, in ways that I could relate to.

The one burning question I'm left with, that I wish Marc had thought to ask our Commander in Chief, and I'm sure I speak on behalf of all citizens when I say this – I wonder if Mr. and Mrs. Obama have seen the bit Chris Rock did about having a black First Lady back when Barack was running for office? If he is a fan of comedy, chances are strong he has seen it. I am so freakin' curious as to if he's seen it, if Mrs. Obama has, and if they thought it was funny. I would like to think they laughed their asses off. I appreciate people who don't take themselves too seriously.

The art of laughing at oneself seems to be a dying skill.



Overall, I think it was fucking brilliant. And refreshing. And brave, on both their parts, and all the other cats involved in making that magic happen. People have been hating on Marc for not being "harder" on the President when touchy issues, like gun control, got brought up. I think you all missed the point of this conversation. First off, remember that Marc Marin is not a journalist. He is a comedian. And he only had an hour. You start going down a rabbit hole like that, and nothing else gets discussed before you're out of time. The point of this conversation was for Mr. Obama to be able to step outside of mainstream politics for a moment, and be seen as a person. Hopefully, by millions of people he doesn't normally reach thru traditional media, because we are disenchanted with it, and no longer utilize it as an information source. People like me.
And in that sense, it worked like a charm.

Besides walking away with a new connection to Mr. Obama, his family, and their story, it was nice to hear the President be real. Or at least as real as one is allowed to be. What I heard him say in so many words was, “The system isn't perfect. I am limited in what I can do. I am not happy with these limitations, but am pleased with the progress we have been able to make within the system as it exists today. I remain optimistic for the future, because I have learned a lot and now I can put that to use in my last year and half as President. I have learned what the game is and how to play it, and I may not like it very much, but I still give a shit, I still remember where I came from, why I got into politics. I still remember the grind and the hustle and the racism and the poverty and the sickness we are experiencing as a society. And I promise to do as much as I can, as fast as I can, in the time that I have left. I'm getting gangsta. I'm keeping it real. I give zero fucks now. I'm gonna do things like go on the WTF Podcast, and be a real human being without having to interact with just another talking head on some agenda driven media outlet.”

I'm curious as to what he's gonna do next. Very intrigued, and excited.

Thank you, Mr. Obama, and those working towards loosening the tight grip of the Judeo-Christian-Puratin-Paternal driven tyranny we have been under for the last few thousand years or so. The same insanity that destroyed my people, scattered them and our history and culture and songs and art and religion to the dust. The same that enslaved Mr. Obama's people, tore them from their homelands and treated them like cattle. If we truly have separation of the state from the church in this fine country of ours, then why is the government involved with affairs concerning love, sex, expression, and ideologies? Why does it care who we choose to marry, what substances we choose to ingest? These are not concerns of practical matters, these are moralistic arguments, and have no place in government. How nice that we seem to be finally coming around as a people and realizing this.

There was more than one "Trail of Tears". Never forget!
Thank you for giving me hope, for renewing my faith and interest in the system, for reminding me it's far easier to create change from within an existing frame work, rather than tearing it all apart and starting from scratch (makes me think of SLC punk). For reminding me I can be jaded and sit here and bitch, or I can get involved and participate and push for the changes I desire, knowing it takes time and patience and cooperation and love and energy.

Like Sasha Shulgin did for “The Tribe” - be an emissary rather than a guerrilla rebel, and you're more likely to get a lot more accomplished in your lifetime. More likely to have a lasting impact on the generations to come. Which is where our perspective needs to be anyway.

Cheers to all the brave emissaries of these movements towards progress, equality, freedom!

And to you, Marc, you did great! I would have fallen apart under all the pressure! I can't imagine how surreal that must have been, and look forward to hearing you talk about the experience on the podcast you put up on Thursday.

<3 Much love from a fan of comedy and democracy <3

P.S. Shame on all you who freaked out about Mr. Obama “dropping the N-word” once during the podcast!
Obviously, you missed the whole fucking point of that eloquent and enlightening conversation, and you made asses out of yourselves acting like infantile ignoramuses flipping out about it. "The Rapper in Chief"...fucking really, Fox??? You all are acting like he rolled up to Marin's with a do-rag on, an L hanging from his lip, ice hanging from his neck, dropping N Bombs like they're going out of style. Fucking pathetic!!!

Also, in case you didn't notice, he's black.
He's allowed to use that word anytime, in any way he wants.

You're probably just butthurt The President is sick of mainstream media's bullshit, and chose to go chill out in Marc Maron's garage, rather than shoot the shit with you on your TV Show.
And that it worked. I bet that annoys you even more.

To quote the great Bill Burr, “Go fuck yah-self.” 

Whoever did this is fucking brilliant!

Should you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the site (mobile users, please click on the web version to view). I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! Thank you so much for reading and supporting my work :) 


Thursday, June 25, 2015

Staying Sane in the Midst of a Flare - Keep Pain/Suffering In Context

Been in a pretty rough spot the last few weeks or so due to a flare in my Fibro. Been having major problems with my arms. Had issues with them in the past, but not to this degree. The muscles, tendons, and joints hurt, ache, burn and my whole arms are very weak and shaky.  To the point where I can barely lift my can of seltzer water (*note to self - get straws*).

It's terrifying and frustrating when you've been doing better for a while and then you get debilitated again. And having to manage the pain is the hardest part, not so much the physical side of it, yes that is a huge challenge, but the drugs sure help ("I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."). Although they don't really make me very functional, just take away the urge to have my arms cut off in hopes of alleviating the pain.

The harder part, for me anyway, is the mental side of pain. Of waking up in Level 10 pain for weeks straight, being too debilitated to do even little things like vacuum, or type (*other note to self, play with voice to text software I was given last year and never messed with* - The creative process just doesn't work the same when my hands aren't involved). Forget about wrenching. All projects are on hold. Yes, I could ask for help, but it's not as satisfying if I don't do the restorations myself. You could say I'm a bit stubborn, yes. If things don't straighten out in the next month I will break down and get some help on my projects. Because up here in Vermont, Winter is Coming! I know it's Midsummer, but we only get so many months to wrench before it gets too cold for major work. Unless you have a heated garage (#goals).

Not only does being miserable from chronic pain/illness/disability make you feel worse, it makes those around you feel awful too. Don't get me wrong, it's pertinent to express one's grief in a healthy manner, but then one must move on. Otherwise we end up a bitter mess that no one wants to be around. And being alone/feeling isolated is another amplifier of disease progression/symptom levels.

I've spoken before about how much Eastern Philosophy helps me manage the mental side of being chronically ill. Today I want to highlight a specific lecture that has been especially helpful to me over the last week as I've struggled with the latest digression in my symptoms.

It's a lecture Alan Watts gave on KQED Public Television in either 1959 or 1960 about Pain/Suffering, and how to manage it mentally using concepts from the East. I hope you find it helpful as well. It's about 30 minutes total, split up into two parts. Below the video clips are a few quotes that stood out to me.





"There is nothing that is so much the very essence of suffering, as the fear of suffering itself."

"The first proposition of the Buddha...is that life as we live it is fundamentally...a kind of chronic frustration, and man's effort is always to get rid of this ["Duhka" - suffering, pain], and go to that ["Suhka" - bliss, happiness]. But the basic idea of the Buddha was that if you have this [suffering], you must have this [bliss] because these two contrast with each other. You don't experience [suffering] unless you experience [bliss], and you don't experience [bliss] unless you experience [suffering]...And therefore, the idea of the Buddha's doctrine was not to get rid of pain and put pleasure in its place, but to go to something else which stands as it were transcending these two opposites, above and beyond them. Which in Sanskrit is called "Ananda" [English equivilant is "ecstasy" - rapture; transport; an overwhelming emotion; a state of sudden, intense feeling]."

"Now how is it that through a profound going into suffering, that is to say, a profound acceptance of it, there can come out of it some sort of bliss? This is the problem we have to understand."

"We find that our feelings depend for their evaluation, as to whether they be positive or negative, very much as to the context in which they occur."

"Therefore, the idea of the Buddha was to become delivered from suffering, not by running away from it, but from looking at the actual concrete reality of what we feel, and forgetting the context." 

Hope you found this to be as helpful as I do! What did you get out of this video?

Should you get any benefit from Mr. Watt's work, please consider supporting his legacy by purchasing some of his original works.

And if you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the page. I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! :) 

Many thanks for your continued support!
*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen



Tuesday, June 2, 2015

"Fake" - A Poem

This is an old poem circa 2002 or so.
I'm finally undertaking a long project and digitizing crates of poetry I've been carrying with me for years. Some of it goes as far back as the 5th grade!
This one still stands out as a favorite, and I've been thinking of it recently due to some challenging interpersonal situations. Personally, I'm still stoked on the wordplay on this one :)
Hope you enjoy it too!

Fake
Faltering in her silent steps
she
cries aloud. The light
overwhelms
the senses. Come, darkness! Save
me
from the truth. Envelop me
with
your star-studded veil. Don't let
her
see our technicolor dreams. For her
plastic
thoughts will ruin the universe, and she will only
smile.

-R.C.H.

Thanks for reading!
*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen
Please, if you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the page. I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! :)