Some very exciting things have been happening here in Renata Land!
First off, a huge shout-out, and massive thanks to The Speed Girls for featuring me on their website! It's a beautiful feature, and I am incredibly honored to be considered "The Real Deal" next to all those other badass women they have on there!
I will be keeping this site up until I have archived all the old material on here, but from now on, go to http://www.renatacarmen.com/ to check out future blog posts, and keep up with my myriad of projects and misadventures!
Thank you, faithful readers, for your continued support! It means the world to me and I'm just so excited for things to come :) :) :)
This post I would like to highlight a personal hero of mine - Neil Young! <3
I've been listening to this dude since the womb (literally) and got to see him perform for the first time recently in Essex for the launch of his Monsanto Yearstour. It was a life changing experience that still brings tears to my eyes when I recall it, but I'll be writing more in detail about that concert later, along with Mr. Young's current fight to aid Vermont as it undergoes a major lawsuit from the shady, scary powerful big corporate alliance known as the "Grocery Manufacturer's Association" - Mansanto and Starbucks being the primary companies within this group currently under his attack.
First, I want to focus on Neil Young as a person - what makes him tick; who/what made him the powerful, loving soul that he his today; how his creative process works. Right before going to see him play up by Lake Champlain, I heard an enlightening interview he did with Howard Stern at the end of 2014. I learned a lot about Neil that I never knew before.
And now I love him as not just a musician, but a human being and role model too.
He is, indeed, and Bad Mofo!
random pic from the internet - Neil Young - Chronic Badass and all around Bad Mofo
They talked everything - from Mr. Young's survival of and recovery from childhood onset polio; the trauma of his father abusing his mother and then abandoning the family around the time Neil was 12; flunking out of high school; his influences and struggles as a budding artist; various bands he has played in, and musicians he's rolled with; what it was like to live with Rick James, be recorded by Smokey Robinson, and hang out with Charlie Manson; his personal values and philosophy and how those tie into his work, a description of his creative process that I think any creative type would find beneficial, even a fun little tip on how to manage paranoia induced by cannabis/altered states! One that this 17 year long consciousness explorer had never heard before. ("Chew on a few black peppercorns.")
I was very inspired by Neil Young's insatiably positive attitude and perceptions about life, the world around him, and his role in it. He is prolific as an artist, and incredibly passionate about the causes he cares about - causes which resonate greatly with me and I think many young people today. The man has seen, overcome, and continues to manage a lot of shit (one of his children has Cerebral Palsy), and has somehow come out of it without harboring any bitterness or resentment. He has a huge "heart of gold" and I feel like he is a great role model for anyone, especially those who may be going through a hard time or facing some sort of challenge (where's my Spoonies at? Much love to ya'all!).
Here is a link to that interview (just audio). Below are my fave quotes.
Hope you find Neil Young's story and philosophy to be as inspiring as I have!
Should you want to learn more about him, Neil has co-written several books, the latest of which came out around the time of this interview, called "Special Deluxe" - a book about his love of cars, and pursuit of alternative energy sources for them (he's a gearhead too! I just love this man!).
"I'm working for
the Music, that's my job in my head. I've always felt that was
something that was given to me, and I have to give back to It."
"Everybody's family has something in
it...These things happen to everybody...Not that particular thing [physical abuse] happens to everybody, thank God, cuz that's not what should happen,
and the less of that we have the better off everything is, but,
still, things happen, and everybody has the things they
remember in their childhood that they wish they hadn't
seen...something, there's something not perfect about everyone's
childhood, you know."
"Music turned me into myself. I just
love being able to disappear into the music."
"[Creativity/Art] It's an accident, it's a
gift, and I never question it. I always, whatever I'm doing, if I
have an idea I'll stop what I'm doing and do that...The idea is, Do It. You never know when, if you don't do it when it comes, it's a Gift. If somebody gives you a gift, do you throw it down and keep on
going? No, you stop and check it out, and you say “Thank You”, or
whatever, and treat it nicely. You don't want to scare it away or
treat it with disrespect. It's like an animal, it's like a beast or
something. You have to be nice...That's why I like to record things right
away. So that I get it, before I start thinking. I don't wanna think,
I just wanna do it...And then when I start to roll, the first time it
comes out it's the right one." (Not sure if this resonates with other artists, but this is exactly how my creative process flows, was very cool to hear - at least for my poetry. Journalism and other forms of writing usually require extensive editing, they don't just "come out" like that.)
"You don't want to judge it [your art], Howard. It's a Gift. You just do it, and
later let other people judge It. There's plenty of people to do that,
you don't have to go very far and you can find them."
"When you play music you have to come from a certain place
when you're doing it, and everything has to be clear, you know. You
don't want to disturb that. I mean, I don't. I like to keep the love
there. And if the love isn't there, you don't wanna do it."
“Be great or be gone.”
"It's about the weather, Howard. Some days you got it, some days you don't...it's the Cosmic Weather, you can't always have it, which makes you appreciate it so much when you get it. And that's what life is all about, it's so beautiful the way it keeps changing."
“Find a way to make a living that makes you feel good.”
“Focus on the good things.”
“I'm not a hater. I want to be a lover, I want to love, I want to see what's good.”
“I'm going to do what I can do with the rest of my life...to fight to make the change I wish to see, to turn the Earth around.”
After discussing Neil's interest in Charlie Manson as a musician:
Howard: If you had to spend a day recording
with either Charlie Manson or David Crosby, who would you pick?
Neil: That's a great question. I don't
know, I'll have to think about that one. (Laughs)
On addiction and drugs:
"It's a matter of wanting to [quit].
If you try to stop something that you want to do, that's an internal
struggle that you really never will win. But if you don't wanna do it
because you decide you don't want to do it, then it gets easy...I
didn't want to stop because of all the death...I got really tired of
waking up that way and not thinking and just hurting myself over and
over and I was getting older. It was just a thought process just led
me to the conclusion that it was probably not a good idea anymore."
On his book, “Special Deluxe”, Neil's love of cars and the enviornment, and advocacy for alternative energy sources like solar and cellulosic biofuel:
H: This is a book of cars, right? You
love cars?
N: Yeah!
H: And yet, you're an environmentalist,
and cars pollute the environment, so you're torn, right?
N: Well, that's kinda what the book is
about.
H: What are we gonna do about this?
N: We're gonna change it...It's so
sad, what's going on. Since 1950, we've lost 90% of the fish in the
ocean, and doubled our own population. Since 1970, we've lost half of
the wildlife on the planet. So, if you take those same numbers and
put them into the future and realize we're actually doing more damage
now, and look at our leaders [decisions]...Obama just opened up the
Gulf of Mexico to fracking and just gave all the rights away, I don't
get the sentience in that...
H: Who's going to change this?
N: It's gonna be people like you and
me, Howard...We have to be aware of what's going on, and talk about
it, and know that there is a lot that can be done...You don't focus
on the negative, you focus on the positive and how much love you
still have for this planet and that you can enjoy things and don't
get angry about it, but realize that if the USA is the leader of the
free world, why is it we're saying we can have maybe 2% solar
energy by 2020 and Germany has 50% renewable energy right now,
with the same sun and the same
crops?
H: Why is that?
N: It's because of
the leadership in this country, more than that, it's because of
Corporate Control of Democracy, thru things like the Citizens United
Act, which we just voted down yet it's still there because the
majority wasn't big enough. So in America it's hard to make a change
against the corporate powers that are in control of us. They control
all of us, everybody that we elect, they're all tainted. Why do we
have Hilary Clinton, when she was Secretary of State, going around to
Europe to convince the little European countries, “Oh, don't get
your oil from Russia. We give you this fracking technology and it's
really great and you can frack and get your oil and energy right out
of the land.” The thing is, that, this is what's going on – these
are our Democrats, okay, these are the people that are supposed to be
'the savior'...and the Democrats are the ones who just opened up the
Gulf of Mexico to fracking like the gulf doesn't need a break.
H: Are there a
politician or group of politicians that you actually like?
N:
None of them are empowered by the system that is here now to do
anything other than take money from corporations and be controlled. I
don't know of one politician that isn't controlled to some degree by
the amount of donations from corporations. That's who paid for the
campaigns. All these laws are wrong. They made it legal for
corporations to be people.
Corporations are not
people!...The things that we don't know, I mean we talk about climate
change, and we're doing more damage to the earth with all our
wars...but if you want to find out, hey, “Freedom”, you can't
find out what the carbon footprint is of the military...I don't like
war, I think it's all about energy and I think it's gonna end up
being about water, because we're using it all up...We outta just
start getting smart and use what we have. Renewable energy. There's
energy from the sun! Hello! It's right there! If you don't put a hat
on it can burn a hole in your head. It's something there, let's use
it...And start using our plants, not to take away our food, but
cellulosic ethanol and cellulosic biofuels that are actually from the
waste of making food,
that can be fuel, all this stuff can charge electricity, that can do
all kinds of things it can charge batteries, whatever without fossil
fuel. I drove my car all the way across from San Francisco to Ft.
McMurrey, Alberta, to NYC, without using any gasoline.
Robin: So you had it
converted?
N: I rebuilt it,
yeah, and I screwed it up and burned it down to the ground, and built
it again.
H: So it can be
done?
N: It
can be done, absolutely. A 6300 pound car, a Lincoln Continental '59,
the heaviest damn longest craziest car you ever saw – I drove
across the whole country without any gasoline. Remember America,
places like Germany are 50% renewable today.
It can be done, with leadership. We don't have the leadership we need
and it's very disappointing that they're all working for
corporations.
“We don't have a
choice...as consumers when it comes to fuel...if we had the choice, we could make
things happen."
H: How do you know
so much about all this?
N: I am studying
this because it is really is a matter of life and death for millions
and millions of people.
H: You care.
N: (Voice cracks) You're damn
right I care. That's all I do. That's all I can do. I'm a famous
person, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna relegate myself to People
Magazine and some tabloids? That's not me. I wanna do something good
and if I can't do something good I'll probably die trying to do
something good. I've got nothing else to do. What else could be more
rewarding? Nothing.
cover from his self titled studio album released in '68
A fun one I started a while back and finally finished today.
I guess you could say I'm in the mood because I'm well enough to go downstairs tomorrow and start restoring the Celica Supra again ;) Yay!
Enjoy the Gearhead Poetry!
Oh,
you rev my engine
wear
out my starter
when
I can't take any more
you
drive me harder
thru
terrains I never knew
you
got my alignment all askew
runnin'
till we see red and blue lights
only
you know how to move me just right
baby
let's
hit the canyons tonight
Thanks for reading!
*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen
"Kaizen" aka "Kiki", our gorgeous 1982 Toyota Celica Supra P-Type 5 Speed <3
Every Friday, I am going to talk about "Bad Mofo's" - people who I find really inspiring.
Today, I would like to draw attention to an amazing woman I can't believe I've never heard of before. I learned about Louise "Landspeed" Noeth recently while catching up on the Cars Yeah Podcast, where she is described as "a storyteller known for taking complicated subjects and making them entertaining and educational. She founded LandSpeed Productions in 1984 where she provides film and TV consulting, photography, writing, graphic design, and more. Her award-winning works have been published around the world. Dubbed 'LandSpeed Louise', she concentrates on land speed racing and people who do extraordinary feats by designing, building, and driving fast cars, trucks, and motorcycles. She’s one of the few women journalists in the automotive field who’s also comfortable and competent behind the wheel."
A few other traits/accomplishments that make Louise noteworthy:
- She is over 50% deaf, and it was loud exhaust notes that first drew her to cars because of the resonance (I have a soft spot for people with illness or disability, "Chronic Badasses", in case you didn't notice)
- She was first published in Automotive Journalism back in 1980. I started my automotive career in the mid-2000's, and the industry still was/is permeated by the MadMen, "No tits in the pits", bigotry mentality. I can only imagine what the fuck she's overcome during her career!
- She started her photojournalism career as an artist painting pinstripes on cars, then learned to drive, then to wrench, and started writing/taking photos along the way. She is one of the few other female gearheads I've found who not only can fix anything on a car and drive it, but can write and create visual art as well. I have found a female role model doing almost exactly what I want to do! How awesome! Most of my role models are male.
- Louise worked with the Federal Government to help phase out the use of Leaded Gasoline, and implement updated safety regulations for suspension. She also helped the automotive performance and journalism industries integrate changes created by Federal Emissions Control Implementations in the late 60's/early 70's.
- She helped Team Vesco set the International World Record for the Fastest Wheel Driven Automobile (Over 458 mph! This record still stands, btw. Whose up for the challenge?)
- She has numerous productions and publications under her belt, is working on her second book, has had a monthly column in Goodguys Gazettefor over 12 years, and recently became a Chief Judge for the International Automotive Media Competition - an organization striving to set a higher standard in automotive related journalism/media.
- On top of all these amazing contributions, Louise Noeth is a pilot, too!
A quote from her website that really resonates with me and gets me fired up for my own work: Unlike most journalists, writers, photographers, artists, and publicists who focus on only one, or perhaps two disciplines, LSL noticed that she could get editors to give her more assignments if she could provide words and pictures — photographed or drawn. “The hard part was convincing them that I could deliver quality in both areas, because my skills came from ‘on-the-job training’,” she adds, “I’ve never had any formal, academic training, just an overwhelming abundance of enthusiastic curiosity and I’ve discovered that, occasionally, I can whup a hot shot PhD in this news game. I create solutions.”
I love this woman, and am so inspired by her!
Just some major journalism awards. No big deal ;)
Here is a link to the episode of Cars Yeah I learned about "Landspeed Louise" through, with a few quotes below that stood out to me from the interview. The podcast is only about 30 minutes, perfect for listening to while taking a lunch break, commuting, doing a tune-up, getting your hair did...you get the picture :) Enjoy!
"I was born that way, with Nomex in my diapers."
"I don't have any training...I essentially took my artistic skills...and used them as a springboard..."
"Don't judge my abilities by your limitations."
"Always look for a place to put that plane down if the engine quits...Don't put your complete trust into someone, because they might let you down, and you may not see something...I became more circumspect. Not that I didn't give 100% when necessary, but I always had a way out."
When speaking of her involvement with Federal Legislation phasing out leaded gas, and suspension safety and emission controls -
"That was big because that effected 100's of thousands of people that I will never meet in a positive way."
"If you wanna play, you gotta pay."
"When you get a test car, wash it yourself...because you'll learn more about the car by washing it, then you will driving it."
When asked about a personal habit that contributes to her success -
"It has to be voracity, and details. To never short-shift the reader and the viewer...I can piss off an editor with no problem, but I never want to do that to my readers and my viewers."
"What you do for others, lasts longer, stays stronger, than anything you'll ever do for yourself."
I hope you enjoyed learning about "Landspeed" Louise Noeth! What Bad Mofo's get you really inspired? *Love & Light* Renata Carmen
the gears in my head just won't stop turning
yearning
for apexes and curves
racing the birds
towards the heavens
embracing the mountains
words
cannot describe the longing i feel
in my soul
i feel whole
when rubber and steel
are at my command
embrace the wheel in my hands
twisting and turning
nature's demands
and lady luck
are my only concerns
discerning my beloved
free from thinking
all instinct
like breathing or blinking
chase the sun till its sinking
then into the night
you try to follow
all you see
are taillights
and im gone
smiling at your feeble attempts
repeat
your rinsed out
style is spent
long before i've even started
so go join the other ricers
and dearly departed
ill say a prayer for you
next time we meet
just as soon
as i have her back on her feet
i anticipate that day
like a kid's christmas
already have a mile long
wish list
a never ending process
this game we play
but i wouldn't have it
any other way
-This was featured in the July issue of 2010. For those who aren't familiar with this mag
(http://www.autorestorermagazine.com/ar/), Auto Restorer is a low budget
monthly periodical that is geared towards the old school domestic
crowd. It's filled with wonderful how to's, tips, tricks, and other
such information. Anyways, my article is slated for a series they have
been running called "Gearheads Under 30", where young mechanics submit
bios and pictures of their work. I hope you
enjoy this article. Huge thanks to Jason Simons for his tireless assistance with the editing!
Before
I tell you about myself I would like to take a few moments to introduce
you to my car—she is far more important anyhow; without her I am but a
lowly ape that happens to possess a modest tool collection. How does one
begin to describe the enigma known as the Toyota MR2? Well, one way to
start is by examining the specs and history of the vehicle. There are
three main generations of the MR2, but we will focus primarily on the
first, also known under chassis code “AW11,” as that is what I have my
current love affair with. Back in the mid ‘70s Toyota decided to
undertake a project that would result in providing for the “average
driver” a car that is both fun to drive and economical. Apparently the
initial vision was nothing resembling a sports car or mid-engine
chassis. But after three years of design and experimentation with
engine placement it was determined by Toyota’s Research &
Development that the most desirable power plant location for
near-perfect weight distribution was mid-ship and transversely mounted.
From this base model concept, the evolution into quasi sports car was
inevitable. The MR’s fate was sealed when Toyota elected Lotus to
design and tune the suspension and chassis, and Yamaha to blueprint the
cylinder heads. Additionally, it didn’t help that countless hours of
extensive testing were spent on real-world tracks, such as Willow
Springs Raceway, with professional drivers like Dan Gurney behind the
wheel. Finally, in the spring of 1984, history was made and the first
mass-produced, “mid-engine, rear wheel drive, two-seater” was unveiled
to the world. It was welcomed with open arms by the driving community,
and received rave reviews from many esteemed publications. Car and
Driver Magazine considered the Toyota MR2 as worthy enough to be listed
on its 10 Best for 1986 and 1987. In 1986 the magazine stated, “Any car
with a higher fun-per-dollar quotient would never be allowed by the
IRS.” The TV show Top Gear rated the “Mister Two” as number 11 out of
152 models reviewed via their “Top Gear Survey”. Automobile Magazine
was impressed enough with Toyota’s introduction of the mid-ship runabout
to feature it on the cover of its inaugural issue– facing off against a
Ferrari 308GTBi! The magazine’s website states that their owner, David
E. Davis, Jr., was quoted as saying, “God help the Italians if the
Japanese ever decide to build supercars." I wonder what Mr. Davis
thought of the Honda NSX when it debuted in 1990!
So
let’s crunch the numbers. The curb weight of a fully-optioned AW11 is a
mere 2400 pounds. The engine powering this featherweight is the
legendary 4AGE, which at the time of the MR2’s induction had already
built a reputation for versatility, strength, and efficiency through its
employment in the Corolla chassis. It is an inline, four-cylinder,
iron block, dual overhead cam, and 1.6 liter: offering several
variations in head and intake design and featuring Bosch L-Jetronic fuel
injection and variable intake geometry (TVIS). It was an incredibly
revolutionary economy engine, as it was one of the first mass production
motors to feature dual overhead camshafts and four valves per cylinder.
Yamaha’s ingenious abilities with head design explain the 4A’s
capacity to maintain ruthless efficiency and performance throughout the
entire powerband. The US version is rated at 112hp @ 6600RPM’s and 97
ft-lbs of torque @ 4800. A super charged version provided a bit more
pack in its punch, offering about 140HP and 109ft-lbs. Though such
outputs for a 1.6 liter are impressive, specs like these for a “sports
car” seem dismally low. But when you examine the data collected by Road
& Track magazine during their trial run of the AW in November
of 1984, you may think twice about these unassuming road warriors. Upon
testing, R &T found the power to weight ratio to be 0.116, or
about the equivalent of a 1954 Corvette Convertible. Additionally, it
rated 0.84g of lateral acceleration on the skid pad, right on up there
with the BMW M3. Add that to the fact that the engine’s stock redline
is about 7500RPM’s, and you have one rev-happy, responsive little
mid-engine that could. At stock setup these cars aren’t preferential
for going straight, but take one for a day of auto crossing at the track
or a cruise through the mountains and you will appreciate the
enthusiasm displayed by just about any professional who is given the
keys.
Thus the Mister Two has developed a bit of a
cult following over the years. Examine its inexpensive initial cost,
well-supported aftermarket, rock solid reliability, simple design, and
addictive personality, and you can see how such a car would be
attractive to a gearhead under thirty. I know many readers of this fine
periodical don’t care much for Japanese makes. I myself love good ole
American muscle, especially the less common makes like those of AMC and
Mopar; it’s what I was raised on (my first love as a little girl was a
1969 Mustang Convertible). There is definitely no replacement for
displacement. Eventually I will have my Challenger T/A, my AMX, and my
Chevelle, but they are just too expensive for me to own at this point in
my life. So, like many of my fellow youth, the Japanese car scene
offers me more bang for my buck. At first it was just a substitute for
the more costly makes. Had it not been for a mere twist of fate I may
never have entered this world. I discovered MR2’s the same way many in
the community have: by accident and sheer, dumb luck. Several years
back I found myself looking for a reliable four cylinder for a daily
driver after prematurely killing my 1991 Toyota Pick-Up (story for
another time). I was by no means looking for a sports or performance
car. But when I came upon a Crimson Red, second generation MR2, with
T-Tops and “For Sale” signs right up the street from my house, I was
intrigued and stopped to look. I had always admired MR2’s from afar,
but never seriously considered owning one. Before I could get too much
drool on her, the owners came out and offered me a test drive.
Unwittingly I accepted, got into the drivers’ seat, started the car, and
instantly fell in love with the sensation of the engine purring to life
behind me. I could feel it mumbling sweet nothings to me through the
back of the seat, muttering tales of apexes and canyon roads, enticing
me to push harder, begging to be tested. I put the transmission into
gear and never looked back. What started off as a “temporary”
relationship has grown into a full-on obsession with pre-OBDII Japanese
cars. I am now on my second MR2. I restored the 1991 T-Top and sold it
to a fellow enthusiast up north. My current project is a 1987 hardtop
with bare bones options that I rescued from a kid in the LA area. She
was in terrible shape, but hardtops with manual transmissions, steering,
and doors are rare. So when the VIN came back clean I was ecstatic to
tow her home. She probably weighs less than 2200 pounds soaking wet.
I am totally in love with the car and am enjoying the heck out of
restoring her. My long-term plans are to make her a track toy, but
since I am working on a starving artist’s budget I am focusing on just
getting her in safe, running condition and cleaned up for the time
being. I have gotten a pretty good start and am quite close to getting
her back on the street. Thus far I have cleaned up the suspension,
overhauled the brakes, rebuilt the master cylinders, replaced the engine
with a freshened-up stronger 4A, replaced all the hoses in the engine
bay, replaced all the filters and fluids, relocated the battery from the
engine bay to the trunk, and started the process of cleaning up the
paint and body. If all goes well, by the time you are reading this,
“Mary” and I will be enjoying the view from one of our favorite
mountaintops.
So who am I? Well I’ll tell you who
I’m not: I’m not a “ricer.” People often assume that because I like
Japanese cars I like “rice rockets.” They are two very different kinds
of car. To sum it up, rice rockets are “all show, no go.” Personally, I
use the phrase to describe any cheesy or over-the-top auto
craftsmanship in general, not limiting it just to the brand. Unlike
most young enthusiasts, those you may know as the “rice rocket” owners,
this mechanic has been educated by mentors with racing and hot rod
backgrounds. Mentors that preach meticulous attention to detail, doing
things right the first time, planning and foresight, layout, knowing
your roots, and keeping up with resources like Auto Restorer. I have
had the privilege of working with crew chiefs who tune suspensions
without computers or lasers, and the honor of apprenticing under
fabricators who still make everything by hand. I have borne witness to
dying arts like “lead filling.” These are experiences that cannot be
bought, comprising of knowledge that cannot be sold. I carry this
wealth of information with me like the most precious of gems, forever
searching for more to add to the collection. My tireless curiosity and
the desire to always improve myself and grow as a person are some of the
reasons why I enjoy turning wrenches. Another example of why I like
working on cars, especially the ones that require restoration, is the
sense of patience one gains. The second you allow your emotions to get
control of a situation, you have lost. Learning to be in command of
your mental state is invaluable, be it under a car, behind the wheel, or
in any other aspect of life.
Lastly, I am passionate
about cars and motor sports because, well, I just… really, really love
them! Cars are my life. The enamor I have for them is hard to explain
to those who do not share it. The subject is always on my mind in some
form, warping my beliefs, mindsets, and topics of conversation.
Something about turning wrenches is incredibly therapeutic. If I go
more than a few days without it, I get this itch in my soul that can
only be soothed by getting my hands dirty. Whenever I feel restless or
need a quiet place to think I seek the quiet meditation of the drivers’
seat. I savor the sights, sounds, smells, and textures of all things
automotive: high-octane fuel, throaty exhausts, Brakleen, smoking
tires, Loctite. I dream of apexes, drag-strip trees, and circle-track
“marbles.” Encountering any such stimuli immediately sends me floating
on an ephemeral wave of euphoric delirium. I am enamored by
well-managed fabrication, the insanity of Sprint cars, and the beauty of
a finely-laid TIG bead. I acknowledge that I am doomed to spend mass
amounts of money on high-quality tools and OEM parts for as long as I
live…
In short, I am a gearhead; I also just so happen to be female.
Often
I am asked how I got into cars. Last time I checked we all get in the
same way: through the door! My apologies, you will find that I am a
bit of a “smart Alec,” though I have come to find that many mechanics
are. I mean it all in good fun! To address the question, my father
was one of my biggest influences. I am the oldest of three girls and so
I was the designated Flashlight Holder and Brake Bleeder Assistant. He and my mother
focused on and fed my love of science, insatiable desire to understand
how things work, and always told me I could do anything I wanted
regardless of gender or any other reason. Throughout grade school I
dreamed of being an astronaut or forensic scientist, but as I grew older
I realized my constant need for stimulation could never be met in a
lab. After leaving high school early I did what you are “supposed to
do” and started college coursework, but I struggled to find a field I
could envision being actively involved with on a day to day basis for
the rest of my working life. Around this same time an ex boyfriend of
mine & Honda CRX enthusiast exposed me to the import tuning world, which
was the initial spark in my current fanaticism. After a few years of my
continued on again/off again love affair with college, I chose to
attend Universal Technical Institute in 2006, where my addiction was fully unleashed, and the rest is history. Plus, I loathe desk jobs or places of
employment where you have to “look busy” and deal with eight levels of
management. I can’t deal with that. I may be young but I started
working at 15 and have held all levels of corporate positions and they
always, always motivate me to crave something more creative and less
mundane. That’s one of the many reasons why I have never worked for a
dealership. I am not here to badmouth anyone or say anything negative.
I’m just saying that type of environment is not for me. I have no
desire to work as a “tech,” making flag rate and fighting others for the
gravy. I much prefer the freedom and creativity of racing or
restoration. Today’s unstable world and turbulent economy makes pursuit
of such careers seem futile. People under 30 are some of the hardest
hit by the recession. As I write this the unemployment rate for the 16 -
24 age bracket hovers around 40 to 50%, depending on which source you
use. But I have plans, dreams, and goals that I’m unwilling to give up
on without a fight. I feel the youth of today could ensure their
long-term survival as well as aid in the revitalization of the financial
system if we proactively participate in finding solutions through the
use of our skills, talents, and creativity. The spirits of entrepreneurship and exploration are part of what this great country
was founded upon. Now more than ever we, as American citizens, need to
get back in touch with our roots. I may be running a miniscule
operation out of my garage today, but who knows what tomorrow will
bring? If I stay focused and dedicated the possibilities are limitless,
and it doesn’t get much more American than that.
This was written several years ago, on a day spent with some very
influential gearheads in my life at that time. I just came across this and laughed,
because its true:
“So I have discovered a new addiction:
Cars.
I have become bitten by the bug.
Now,
don’t get me wrong I have always loved cars, I work on them, I read
about them, and until this very moment considered myself to be a
“gearhead”.
But today I hung out with kids my own age or younger who are actually living, eating, breathing, dreaming it.
Working
in garages on their Corollas and Hatches. Spending their time scraping
money together for parts and track time and tires. Yeah, they party,
but that is not their primary goal from day to day.
I have spent the last 10 years chasing one rave, one party, to the next....
And I could have been spending my time running canyons and building motors instead.
People bitch about living in this shithole Antelope valley, and yes it is not the most exciting place to live.
But if you are a lover of car control, then “Canyon country” is the perfect place to be!
I
mean, we have so many roads back here to play on. One could spend
endless hours running and tuning and running and building and tearing
down and doing it all over again.
I never really realized.
Until now.
And
now that it has hit me, now that the haze has cleared from my mind and I
see things for how they really are for the very first time, I realize
how much time I have wasted. What I have been searching for, chasing
down relentlessly this whole time was right in front of me.
And now that I have had a taste, I want to jump in head first and never look back.
I
enjoy hanging out with other mechanics and watching them fabricate and
work on their cars, but its time for mine now. I am fully capable of
taking on my own project, saving money and working at it a little bit
every day.
And the thought of that exhilarates me to the point
that I feel high. I want to start tearing the garage up right now so I
can make it into a user friendly work space. I am filled with energy
and desire that I have never really experienced before. For some reason
I had never really thought of myself as capable of doing this on my
own, but now I see that I am more than able to.
Its so
refreshing to be surrounded by people who are my own age who are living
this lifestyle. Prior to this my experiences had been with my mentors
and influences, most of which are at least twice my age. Not that there
is anything wrong with that, “old guys rule” etc, but to have found
that within my own age bracket is something new to me. Its inspiring
and engaging.”
Since I have written this I
have developed massively as a person and a mechanic. Its become a more
potent part of my personality. I do work independently on my own
projects now, and have the confidence and experience to manage others’
projects. I allowed the sickness to inundate my very being down to the
core, and now I eat, sleep, breathe, dream it on a daily basis.
Most
laugh when I tell them that “cars keep me out of trouble”. I guess
there is plenty of trouble to be had via cars with the law and the
land….But for me its true! If I’m not in the garage or at an event on a
weekend night, you can almost guarantee that I’m out and about running
amok in the Los Angeles underground. (Tho sometimes the two elements
mix and it’s the most beautiful union on the planet.)
A perfect
example is just this last Saturday. I had plans to attend a car meet
with someone very special to me, and at the last minute things on his
end fell through. So I end up with my buddies and some bottles of Blue
Moon instead. Next thing I know its 3am and I’m at the Henry Fonda
Theater in Hollywood taking shooters at the bar with Judge Jules
spinning house in the background. And the night lasted til about 7am,
which means I slept all Sunday and got nothing done.
Now let me
be clear I am not blaming others for my actions, I am a big girl, I am
responsible for all my decisions. Also there is nothing wrong with
partying every once in a while and I will never apologize for my chosen
lifestyle, nor should anyone unless that lifestyle compromises others.
What
I am trying to say in this rambling message is that daily contact with
cars helps keep me grounded, sane, balanced, collected.
Keeping my
hands dirty keeps me clean.
And that my friends, is the definition of a Gearhead.
"my car is like my own personal universe
she's my drug and it only takes 12 bucks to fill 'er up
and in my galaxy there ain't no room for earth
so i'm leavin it cuz i can feel my oil pressure building up
turning over the ignition of my solar system
check the gauges, push in the tape
put my foot on the brake
shift existence, light my cigarette
and take it state to state
until i crash into my fate..."
-slug (atmosphere)
it doesn't matter what may have happened during the day, i know that The Mountain will always be there for me.
i
hit the streets in the direction of my favorite local peak, feeling
relief at just the thought of traversing its glorious twists and turns.
a
pang of excitement runs thru me like electricity as it comes into view.
regardless of how many times i have been up here, i get the
butterflies as i enter the canyon and accelerate into the great abyss.
all my problems dissipate as i turn into the apex. i feel the stress and negative energy drain from my body, and i smile.
the tires and the ecu warm up and i push her a little harder.
the
thrill of the chase. the exhilaration of the unity between (wo)man and
machine. sometimes i am aware of what drives me, what i am trying to
escape. other times i am not. all i do know is that The Mountain will
make me feel better. help me break my problems down into manageable,
bite size pieces. i find a zen-like peace in this place. when i am
driving i feel truly free from everything, even myself. especially
myself.
and when i reach the top, i pull off to the side and let
my trusty steed rest for a moment. i take in the view from up high.
looking down at the city below makes me realize how petty we all are,
all the bullshit is, how this very planet is but an infinitesimal spec
in the grand scheme of things...
gazing upward into the heavens, i
marvel at how beautiful and mysterious this world, this universe is,
and how amazing it is to be apart of it. "celebrate this chance to be
alive and breathing". everything is in perspective now. things are
back in their place. i feel right, sane, whole, once again.
i am ready to go back down.
if
the weather is good i am borderline reckless, scaring the shit out of
anyone who happens to be riding shotgun. always in control, but
sometimes just barely. its a good ride down if you manage to frighten
yourself a little bit. always pushing. always wanting to know how far i
can go before i reach the edge and still walk away.
when i reach
the bottom, i am totally consumed by the rush. i immediately want to
go back up and do it again, and again. lord knows i would if i could
afford the tires and fuel. but i sure as hell can't. i'm driving on
toasted suspension as it is and really have no business hauling ass up
and down canyons right now, but i just can't help myself. i make
excuses to take back roads whenever possible. i have spent whole days
just driving for the sake of driving. i need it, like oxygen or
sunlight.
people who don't understand say its a waste of time,
money, gas. they complain when you spend hours with the project or
researching specs online or don't understand what you talk about half
the time because they don't have the same habits or addictions.
but
in the scheme of things, there are far worse vices to have. in the
scheme of things most people don't know jackshit. but The Mountain
always does. i can hear it calling me, always calling...and i will
always answer.
