Saturday, June 27, 2015

June 26th, 2015 – A Historical Day to Close Out an Epic Week - Presidents, Podcasts, Progress

(Started writing this on Friday, had to take lots of breaks to finish it to my standards and add hyperlinks/pics, so it's going up on Saturday afternoon, 7-27)

The Supreme Court just ruled in favor of same sex marriage!!!!

What a way to close out an epic week for progress! I learned rather belatedly that the feds cut off funding to the DEA for medical cannabis raids late last year, due to recent back lash from the Justice Department. Come on guys, just let it go already! Stop fucking with sick people and our right to choose our symptom management! You'll come around eventually. 

It was a close decision, 5-4, but history has been made on this day here in this country. My mind is totally blown. I had no idea this was going on, as I don't watch the news, and avoid it online (not on Facebook, my homepage is Google). Especially when the Fibromyalgia is kicking my ass like it has been for the last few weeks (boo).

The decision was based upon the 14th Amendment, and from what I've read it sets a potential precedent for federal legalization of medical cannabis. Crazy exciting shit. Talk about a badly needed open door that we can now utilize for even further progress! Can't believe I'm seeing all this in my lifetime! If you had told me ten years ago that today we would be questioning the validity of the Drug War, ending cannabis prohibition at the state and federal level, opening up channels for medical applications of MDMA and Psilocybin, and recognize the legal right to same sex marriage at the federal level, I would have asked you what you were on so I could have a hit.

Someone please pinch me, I must be dreaming!

'Merica, fuck yeah!!!

Something else revolutionary that happened this week and has me very excited – President Obama was on Marc Maron's WTF Podcast!!! A president, on a podcast! And not just any podcast, a comedian's podcast. And not a clean comedian, either! Not that there's anything wrong with clean comedy. It just would have been more socially sanctioned for the President to choose to sit down with Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, or Ellen Degeneres.

To say this was a ground breaking decision would be an understatement.


President Barack Obama posing with Marc Maron in his garage:)
For more pics, check out http://marcmeetsobama.com/.

It was a very interesting listen. I wound up connecting with Mr. and Mrs. Obama in ways I hadn't foreseen. Michelle's Dad has MS, and this was back before the ADA act. Mr. Obama told a story or two about her father's struggles with his illness, and the public's perception of disability, which really touched me. I wonder if he uses cannabis for his MS symptoms. I sure hope so. Montel Williams says it's the only thing that really helps him with his. After being prodded (boldly, IMHO) by Marc to describe his eccentricities (“So, how are you crazy? When Michelle says 'Stop doing that!', what is she referring to?”), Mr. Obama talked about his history and childhood. How he moved around a lot, how that makes him kinda loose and restless. How Michelle grew up in a small town with a “Cleaver” kind of family, living in the same house her whole life, and being very grounded. Mr. Obama described how they in turn balance out each other's “crazy” - she helps to ground him out, and he in turns helps to bring her out of her shell. This made me think of my man and I, but reversed roles. I moved more times than I could count growing up, my man grew up in the house we're staying in now. This bedroom used to have pink carpet because it was his sister's when they were growing up. When I first met his family I totally thought of them as “Cleaver-like” compared to my fubared family (love mi familia, but we are all are fucked up, just tellin' it like it is). He totally grounds my crazy wanderlust, and I help him overcome his tendency towards being an extreme introvert.

I came away from the hour or so conversation very pleased. I was a tad disappointed with how one dimensional some of Mr. Obama's answers were - “Gun control must be solved by taking away guns. Other countries don't have shootings like we do, if they don't allow their citizens to have guns.” I'll save my personal thoughts on such a complex situation for another post. But I think he dropped enough hints so that anyone could read between the lines and really hear what he said in that conversation. He acknowledged the limitations he has as President. Marc did great by comparing it to a “middle management” position. And I think that is an excellent metaphor, one I had never thought of before. The President in this country is the ultimate “Mr. Manager”.

In case you haven't noticed, I make old school AD references whenever possible ;)
Think of all the bureaucracies, organizations, special interests, and branches of government that exist, that work together like some insane fucked up machine, and interfacing with all of that madness. No way you can please all those people, no matter what you do. Then you have millions of citizens with all their desires and wants and needs. Fuck, that sounds like too much for one person. I definitely gained more respect for the man. Not that I didn't respect him before. I may not have voted for Barack Obama, and may not agree with everything that has happened under his organization, but I knew before hearing the podcast it was a tough gig. I just never saw it with such clarity before, in ways that I could relate to.

The one burning question I'm left with, that I wish Marc had thought to ask our Commander in Chief, and I'm sure I speak on behalf of all citizens when I say this – I wonder if Mr. and Mrs. Obama have seen the bit Chris Rock did about having a black First Lady back when Barack was running for office? If he is a fan of comedy, chances are strong he has seen it. I am so freakin' curious as to if he's seen it, if Mrs. Obama has, and if they thought it was funny. I would like to think they laughed their asses off. I appreciate people who don't take themselves too seriously.

The art of laughing at oneself seems to be a dying skill.



Overall, I think it was fucking brilliant. And refreshing. And brave, on both their parts, and all the other cats involved in making that magic happen. People have been hating on Marc for not being "harder" on the President when touchy issues, like gun control, got brought up. I think you all missed the point of this conversation. First off, remember that Marc Marin is not a journalist. He is a comedian. And he only had an hour. You start going down a rabbit hole like that, and nothing else gets discussed before you're out of time. The point of this conversation was for Mr. Obama to be able to step outside of mainstream politics for a moment, and be seen as a person. Hopefully, by millions of people he doesn't normally reach thru traditional media, because we are disenchanted with it, and no longer utilize it as an information source. People like me.
And in that sense, it worked like a charm.

Besides walking away with a new connection to Mr. Obama, his family, and their story, it was nice to hear the President be real. Or at least as real as one is allowed to be. What I heard him say in so many words was, “The system isn't perfect. I am limited in what I can do. I am not happy with these limitations, but am pleased with the progress we have been able to make within the system as it exists today. I remain optimistic for the future, because I have learned a lot and now I can put that to use in my last year and half as President. I have learned what the game is and how to play it, and I may not like it very much, but I still give a shit, I still remember where I came from, why I got into politics. I still remember the grind and the hustle and the racism and the poverty and the sickness we are experiencing as a society. And I promise to do as much as I can, as fast as I can, in the time that I have left. I'm getting gangsta. I'm keeping it real. I give zero fucks now. I'm gonna do things like go on the WTF Podcast, and be a real human being without having to interact with just another talking head on some agenda driven media outlet.”

I'm curious as to what he's gonna do next. Very intrigued, and excited.

Thank you, Mr. Obama, and those working towards loosening the tight grip of the Judeo-Christian-Puratin-Paternal driven tyranny we have been under for the last few thousand years or so. The same insanity that destroyed my people, scattered them and our history and culture and songs and art and religion to the dust. The same that enslaved Mr. Obama's people, tore them from their homelands and treated them like cattle. If we truly have separation of the state from the church in this fine country of ours, then why is the government involved with affairs concerning love, sex, expression, and ideologies? Why does it care who we choose to marry, what substances we choose to ingest? These are not concerns of practical matters, these are moralistic arguments, and have no place in government. How nice that we seem to be finally coming around as a people and realizing this.

There was more than one "Trail of Tears". Never forget!
Thank you for giving me hope, for renewing my faith and interest in the system, for reminding me it's far easier to create change from within an existing frame work, rather than tearing it all apart and starting from scratch (makes me think of SLC punk). For reminding me I can be jaded and sit here and bitch, or I can get involved and participate and push for the changes I desire, knowing it takes time and patience and cooperation and love and energy.

Like Sasha Shulgin did for “The Tribe” - be an emissary rather than a guerrilla rebel, and you're more likely to get a lot more accomplished in your lifetime. More likely to have a lasting impact on the generations to come. Which is where our perspective needs to be anyway.

Cheers to all the brave emissaries of these movements towards progress, equality, freedom!

And to you, Marc, you did great! I would have fallen apart under all the pressure! I can't imagine how surreal that must have been, and look forward to hearing you talk about the experience on the podcast you put up on Thursday.

<3 Much love from a fan of comedy and democracy <3

P.S. Shame on all you who freaked out about Mr. Obama “dropping the N-word” once during the podcast!
Obviously, you missed the whole fucking point of that eloquent and enlightening conversation, and you made asses out of yourselves acting like infantile ignoramuses flipping out about it. "The Rapper in Chief"...fucking really, Fox??? You all are acting like he rolled up to Marin's with a do-rag on, an L hanging from his lip, ice hanging from his neck, dropping N Bombs like they're going out of style. Fucking pathetic!!!

Also, in case you didn't notice, he's black.
He's allowed to use that word anytime, in any way he wants.

You're probably just butthurt The President is sick of mainstream media's bullshit, and chose to go chill out in Marc Maron's garage, rather than shoot the shit with you on your TV Show.
And that it worked. I bet that annoys you even more.

To quote the great Bill Burr, “Go fuck yah-self.” 

Whoever did this is fucking brilliant!

Should you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the site (mobile users, please click on the web version to view). I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! Thank you so much for reading and supporting my work :) 


Thursday, June 25, 2015

Staying Sane in the Midst of a Flare - Keep Pain/Suffering In Context

Been in a pretty rough spot the last few weeks or so due to a flare in my Fibro. Been having major problems with my arms. Had issues with them in the past, but not to this degree. The muscles, tendons, and joints hurt, ache, burn and my whole arms are very weak and shaky.  To the point where I can barely lift my can of seltzer water (*note to self - get straws*).

It's terrifying and frustrating when you've been doing better for a while and then you get debilitated again. And having to manage the pain is the hardest part, not so much the physical side of it, yes that is a huge challenge, but the drugs sure help ("I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me."). Although they don't really make me very functional, just take away the urge to have my arms cut off in hopes of alleviating the pain.

The harder part, for me anyway, is the mental side of pain. Of waking up in Level 10 pain for weeks straight, being too debilitated to do even little things like vacuum, or type (*other note to self, play with voice to text software I was given last year and never messed with* - The creative process just doesn't work the same when my hands aren't involved). Forget about wrenching. All projects are on hold. Yes, I could ask for help, but it's not as satisfying if I don't do the restorations myself. You could say I'm a bit stubborn, yes. If things don't straighten out in the next month I will break down and get some help on my projects. Because up here in Vermont, Winter is Coming! I know it's Midsummer, but we only get so many months to wrench before it gets too cold for major work. Unless you have a heated garage (#goals).

Not only does being miserable from chronic pain/illness/disability make you feel worse, it makes those around you feel awful too. Don't get me wrong, it's pertinent to express one's grief in a healthy manner, but then one must move on. Otherwise we end up a bitter mess that no one wants to be around. And being alone/feeling isolated is another amplifier of disease progression/symptom levels.

I've spoken before about how much Eastern Philosophy helps me manage the mental side of being chronically ill. Today I want to highlight a specific lecture that has been especially helpful to me over the last week as I've struggled with the latest digression in my symptoms.

It's a lecture Alan Watts gave on KQED Public Television in either 1959 or 1960 about Pain/Suffering, and how to manage it mentally using concepts from the East. I hope you find it helpful as well. It's about 30 minutes total, split up into two parts. Below the video clips are a few quotes that stood out to me.





"There is nothing that is so much the very essence of suffering, as the fear of suffering itself."

"The first proposition of the Buddha...is that life as we live it is fundamentally...a kind of chronic frustration, and man's effort is always to get rid of this ["Duhka" - suffering, pain], and go to that ["Suhka" - bliss, happiness]. But the basic idea of the Buddha was that if you have this [suffering], you must have this [bliss] because these two contrast with each other. You don't experience [suffering] unless you experience [bliss], and you don't experience [bliss] unless you experience [suffering]...And therefore, the idea of the Buddha's doctrine was not to get rid of pain and put pleasure in its place, but to go to something else which stands as it were transcending these two opposites, above and beyond them. Which in Sanskrit is called "Ananda" [English equivilant is "ecstasy" - rapture; transport; an overwhelming emotion; a state of sudden, intense feeling]."

"Now how is it that through a profound going into suffering, that is to say, a profound acceptance of it, there can come out of it some sort of bliss? This is the problem we have to understand."

"We find that our feelings depend for their evaluation, as to whether they be positive or negative, very much as to the context in which they occur."

"Therefore, the idea of the Buddha was to become delivered from suffering, not by running away from it, but from looking at the actual concrete reality of what we feel, and forgetting the context." 

Hope you found this to be as helpful as I do! What did you get out of this video?

Should you get any benefit from Mr. Watt's work, please consider supporting his legacy by purchasing some of his original works.

And if you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the page. I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! :) 

Many thanks for your continued support!
*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen



Tuesday, June 2, 2015

"Fake" - A Poem

This is an old poem circa 2002 or so.
I'm finally undertaking a long project and digitizing crates of poetry I've been carrying with me for years. Some of it goes as far back as the 5th grade!
This one still stands out as a favorite, and I've been thinking of it recently due to some challenging interpersonal situations. Personally, I'm still stoked on the wordplay on this one :)
Hope you enjoy it too!

Fake
Faltering in her silent steps
she
cries aloud. The light
overwhelms
the senses. Come, darkness! Save
me
from the truth. Envelop me
with
your star-studded veil. Don't let
her
see our technicolor dreams. For her
plastic
thoughts will ruin the universe, and she will only
smile.

-R.C.H.

Thanks for reading!
*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen
Please, if you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the page. I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! :)